


cigarettes

by juicyjunhui



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Betrayal, Cigarettes, Knives, M/M, Mental Instability, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Psychopathology & Sociopathy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-09
Updated: 2019-04-09
Packaged: 2020-01-07 14:06:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18412178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/juicyjunhui/pseuds/juicyjunhui
Summary: Then it would flood back to him and the jar of emotions he kept so neatly tucked away within himself would burst and shatter under the pressure. Seonghwa slowly took a pull of his cigarette, allowing his hand to shake in the privacy of himself and the woodland around him. Why deny his body its freedom when he's alone?The golden glow he and his patch of woodland bathed in quickly faded to a dark violet, the moonlight giving a cool, subtle radiance to trees - it made the atmosphere just a little bit lighter.Yunho would be here soon.





	cigarettes

**Author's Note:**

> hey so this is just a quick drabble and unbetad and not proof read or anything

Nothing truly mattered to Seonghwa, not anymore. He doesn’t care what happens, it was a happy ever after, surely. He can recall everything so vividly, but now his eyes are dried up, the tears that would once fall at the recollection no more.

 

Then it would flood back to him and the jar of emotions he kept so neatly tucked away within himself would burst and shatter under the pressure. Seonghwa slowly took a pull of his cigarette, allowing his hand to shake in the privacy of himself and the woodland around him. Why deny his body its freedom when he's alone? 

 

The golden glow he and his patch of woodland bathed in quickly faded to a dark violet, the moonlight giving a cool, subtle radiance to trees - it made the atmosphere just a little bit lighter. 

 

Seonghwa sat under his tree, smoking cigarette after cigarette, thinking. He keeps telling himself to be strong, that this is nothing, that maybe it’s just a misunderstanding. No-one would ever do that to him, would they? Seonghwa was bright, unique, someone everyone loved and cherished. But his boyfriend just threw him away like that. It seemed impossible to even think this would happen to him.

 

_ I’m sorry baby, but I can’t do this with you. I want to stay together but it just doesn’t seem to working if this is the only way to go forward for you.  _

 

_ Of course I love you. You’re my world. It’s for the best.  _

 

_ I would do anything for you, yes I have said that before, but I am human and I have my limits.  _

  
  


Maybe the heart grows weeds, maybe emotions falter. These little anecdotes of the last twenty-four hours came crashing in one by one, his loves bitter words making his teeth grasp his lip anxiously. Tears threatened to fall from his glowing blue orbs, though a small chuckle released itself instead -- Seonghwa could hear the crunch of  the woodland around him. It was time. 

 

“I knew I would find you here,” Yunho let out a nervous laugh, “I think we need to talk.”

 

Seonghwa didn’t hesitate grabbing his pack of cigarettes and lighting one up quickly, avoiding any sort of acknowledgement or contact with the other. 

 

“Please, Seonghwa, baby. You know how I feel.” Yunho’s pleads were beginning to amuse the other, as if his past depressive state didn’t even happen. 

 

Long arms fiddled with the sleeves of his hoodie, Yunho just stood there, feeling each bump of elastic for a few moments. Seonghwa slowly got down to the last pull of his cigarette, trying to control the silence as much as possible -- all you could hear between them is a silent plea, a promise, the sound of sharp inhales and of the birds around them.  

 

“Baby, give me your hand, please,” the tense silence was now broken, and Seonghwa was starting to anticipate their conversation. Seonghwa's smaller hand held Yunho's much larger one, and they shared a small moment of serenity; smiles were exchanged, and all nervousness flew out of Yunho. 

 

Maybe everything was going to work out, was going to be okay -- maybe they can go back to how they were: so bitterly in love. 

 

Slight sizzling chimes in both their ears before a melodic harmony of Yunho's screams and Seonghwa's hearty laugh entwined and echoed throughout the woodland. Their hand holding became tighter, Seonghwa digging his nails into skin -- he didn't want to beg Yunho, so instead he was going to give him no choice. 

 

“You think you can just say no to me? You think I was asking you?” Seonghwa pushed the lit cigarette harder into Yunho's skin, his hand beginning to turn a pungent red. 

 

Seonghwa was truly delighted Yunho came to find him (although, he knew he would). Pulling the butt away, releasing Yunho’s captive hand, Seonghwa admired his work -- such a small action was so utterly  _ satisfying,  _ maybe he’ll do it again later. 

 

Now -- now Seonghwa could unleash everything. He had been waitng for this moment, waitng for Yunho. Now was the time. Now is all he had -- he may never get this amount of joy ever again. 

 

Seonghwa grabbed his bag, quickly rustling through, before pulling out some old rope, the kind that was frayed at the ends, with various bits of twine sticking out. His hands worked quickly, and to Yunho’s surprise, managed to tie him up. 

 

“I asked nicely, didn’t I?” Seonghwa took Yunho’s sobs as a maybe. 

 

Usually wide eyes were now squeezed shut, leaking with disbelief of it all. Inhumane sounds elicited his mouth, almost too much, almost too fatal, but luckily Yunho was silent just as something cool hit his throat. It was a small, pointed flick blade, one that was freshly sharpened. Silver was radiant against the moonlight, against the beams of fire that shot against it from Seonghwa’s eyes. The steel was so pretty in that moment, but isn’t it always? Seonghwa thought that Yunho’s throat flush against it, daring to slash, daring to pressure itself even a little more -- it was even prettier. He couldn’t wait until silver faded into red, but the time would come. 

 

It seemed it his dear Yunho couldn’t help but sob. In this meaningful moment of all things. Seonghwa thought for a moment, taking the time to flitter his eyes between his two loves: Yunho and the blade he bared in his once shaking hand. He only felt one thing: euphoria. It was just so pretty and something he would cherish forever. 

 

He felt as if them as a pair was like yin and yang -- Yunho was soft, like a breeze on a warms summer’s day, where as Seonghwa was the feeling of hitting bedrock, he was as cold as ice and hard as stone. How the two were so deeply in love was a mystery untold, but then the tears from Yunho’s eyes continue to fall and Seonghwa remembers why; this is it. 

 

The commotion from a tree top -- it was crows fleeing with a sudden shriek -- made Seonghwa snap out of his trip. He has to address the real reason for all of this soon. 

 

It started hurting again. It took every force to stop the pain bleed through the blade in his hands, for the pain to spill down his cheeks. Although, what was most prevalent was the sheer rage that sped through his veins, the spark of pure fury that was going to seep out from his pores at any moment. 

 

“Please, Seonghwa  baby, whatever happened for you to feel like this, I’m Sorry,”

 

“Don’t tell me you forgot. Wooyoung? You know that name of course, but you know what really got to me?” Silence. Time started to stand still. No tears were cried. “You told me you were loyal, you told me you would do anything for me, yet…”

 

“I wish I knew what,” Yunho squeezed his eyes shut again, “got into you. Why you all of a sudden snapped like this. What happened to my sweet Seonghwa?” It was ignored. 

 

“Yet, why didn’t you kill for me?”

 

Yunho made a silent plea for help, eyes welled up in panic and dismay -- it really had come to this. Seonghwa thought now was the best time for another cigarette.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> pls leave comments!! i may continue on with this as a series/universe rather than a multi chap fic..... but anyways talk to me about headcanons and concept on twt pls [@gothtaekwoon](http://www.twitter.com/gothtaekwoon)


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